


for hunhan; my raison d'être

by orphan_account



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, Randomness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-25 12:38:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17121515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: word vomit. drabbles. one-shots.





	1. marrying the mafia

**Author's Note:**

> everything can be a hunhan au if you try hard enough.
> 
>  
> 
> mostly inpsired by movies and songs.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heavily based on the Korean movie; Marrying The Mafia 2.
> 
>  
> 
>  

Luhan is a prosecutor. He’s in charge of violent crimes and his job is to put gangsters in jail. He may look petite and harmless but anyone who has known Luhan knows that he is merciless when it comes to criminals. He has learned martial arts for years and the lessons turn out to be extremely useful in his work field.

Sehun is mafia leader. However, Sehun is different from the typical mafia leaders. Sehun extorts money from rich people and he gives it to those in need. Stereotypically, a mafia leader is usually sleeping around with numerous people, merciless, violent and has no empathy toward others but not Sehun. He is inexperienced in dating and being 31, he has only had one ex and even until now, he’s still thinking about the doe-eyed man, wondering where he could be. Over the years, Sehun has been constantly donating money to the organizations for the children in need. 

 

 

Luhan met Sehun when he was running away from the gangsters who had successfully managed to trick him into drinking a spiked drink. He was unconscious when Sehun found him. Sehun was instantly entranced at the sight of Luhan as the smaller man reminded him of his ex that he loved dearly. Sehun fought the gangsters for him and since he didn’t know where Luhan lived, he decided to bring him to his penthouse. 

When Luhan woke up the next day, he screamed upon realizing that he was topless and not only that, he was in somewhere unfamiliar. He was so ready to fight Sehun when the taller man revealed himself but Sehun explained to him that  _no, nothing happened. We did not sleep together and you’re topless because your shirt was dirty so I got it washed._ Although still feeling skeptical, Luhan nodded his head in understanding and also, he didn’t feel any soreness in his butt’s area (he had not had sex for years, it would hurt if they really fucked) so he believed that Sehun did nothing to him.

Sehun thought that it would be the last time that he would see Luhan but he was proven wrong when Luhan came over the next day, a bright smile on his face and a shy ‘Do you wanna have dinner together?’ which Sehun didn’t hesitantly to say  _yes_ to.

 

 

  
Right now, Sehun and Luhan are in some sort of flirtationship. They are both aware of each other’s feelings but no one has the guts to say anything yet. Well, Luhan has no problems confessing his feelings to Sehun but throughout the times that they were together, he was always the one who made the first move for everything. He texted first, he asked Sehun out for dinners and lunches and he even initiated holding hands. Hence, he wants Sehun to be the one who will confess first. 

Sehun knows that Luhan is a prosecutor and initially, he wanted to back off because a relationship between a mafia leader and a prosecutor is highly impossible but one smile from Luhan and his rational thoughts were thrown out of the windows. He didn’t exactly lie when Luhan asked what his job is but he didn’t tell him the truth either. He told Luhan that he’s a social worker which is partially true since he does donate a lot to the children’s organizations and even sends volunteers.

The truth comes out one day when Luhan’s assistant, Baekhyun gives him the new information regarding one of the top mafia gangs in Seoul; White Tiger.

“Luhan, here are the files for the mafia gang called ‘White Tiger’ and even better, we have found out who their leader is”

“Good work. Thank you, Baek”

And that’s how Luhan found out about Sehun’s true identity.

 

 

  
Luhan doesn’t text or call Sehun immediately to ask for explanations. Rather, he keeps it to himself and he feels like a fool, to be easily tricked by Sehun who probably only wants to scoop information out of him. However, as far as Luhan is concerned, Sehun has never asked anything regarding his work. So if it’s not for the information then what exactly does Sehun want to achieve by being close to him?

That night, when Sehun comes to pick him up for dinner, Luhan fakes being sick.

“I see. That’s too bad, then. Get some rest and get well soon. And by the way, Luhan, my mother’s birthday is this Sunday”

“Okay”

“Okay?”

“Happy birthday to her”

“Thanks and I was wondering if you would like to -”

“Good night, Sehun”

Ever since that day, Luhan has been keeping some distance off Sehun. He doesn’t reply his texts or pick up the phone when Sehun calls and Sehun, being the coward that he is when it comes to love, decides to stop bothering Luhan and leaves him alone.

 

 

  
“Here are the records that you want”

“Thanks, Baek. Good work”

“But sir, what are these for, actually?”

“Nothing. I just have to investigate something. You may go now”

Luhan remembers the name of one of the organizations that Sehun has ever mentioned to him and with the help of Baekhyun, he gets to see himself if Sehun really gives donations to the organization and he is surprised to see that Sehun really does. In fact, he has been the co-owner of the organization for years, actively raising funds to help the children in need. Luhan is confused. Sehun is very hard to decipher and Luhan hates that he finds himself missing the taller male.

 

 

 

“Happy birthday, Mdm Oh. I’m Luhan”

Sehun’s eyes widen when he sees Luhan at his mother’s birthday party. Even more so, how did Luhan know where to find the place? It is held in their place in Yeosu which is like hours away from Seoul but then Sehun remembers Luhan being a prosecutor and he gets it; Luhan must have investigated him.

“Luhan? The Luhan that Sehun always mentions?”

Luhan’s eyes are on Sehun as the mafia leader clears his throat awkwardly, a bit embarrassed to be exposed as Luhan’s obsessed fan.

“I think so…?”

“God, you’re so gorgeous! Sehun is so lucky”

Luhan smiles as he nods his head in acknowledgment.

Sehun’s thoughts are interrupted when Mdm Oh elbows him not-so-gently and he cringes, mouthing a “What is it?”

“Lead the way for Luhan. Bring him to our table”

 

 

  
“Luhan kinda looks like your first love from before. Doesn’t he, Sehun?”

Luhan raises an eyebrow at Sehun.

“Oh?”

“No, Mother. Well, he does, physically, kinda but Luhan is different”

“In what way?”

Sehun gazes at Luhan and a tiny smile graces his face but Luhan keeps his face emotionless.

“Every way”

Mdm Oh grins, happy that her son is obviously in love.

“So, Luhan what do you?”

Mdm Oh asks with a big smile on her face. She is genuinely happy that Sehun finds someone, even more now because that someone is Luhan. 

“Oh. I’m a civil servant”

“Wow. Fantastic. You must have worked hard to get the job. Where’s your office?”

“At the prosecutor’s office”

“You’re the assistant?”

“I’m the prosecutor”

Luhan smiles and he continues; “In charge of violent crimes and I put gangsters behind the bars.”

 

 

 

“My mother is in shock”

“Hmm. I know”

Sehun sighs as he runs his hand through his hair and he zeroes his gaze in on Luhan. 

“Are you going to arrest me?”

“Depends”

“Lu -”

“Sehun. When you told me I looked gorgeous during our first date; was that a lie?”

Sehun shakes his head as a sign of ‘no’.

“When you told me that you wish to spend your future birthdays with me; was that a lie?”

Another ‘no’ from Sehun.

Taking a deep breath and finally facing Sehun, Luhan reaches for Sehun’s hand.

“I’m on the good side. And you’re on the bad side. We are worlds apart. I like you, Sehun but I don’t think I can love a mafia leader”

“Luhan….”

“I know about your donations. You extort money from rich people and give it to those in need but Sehun-ah, the bottom line is, you’re still a bad guy and I don’t want a bad guy”

He leans forwards to place a soft kiss on Sehun’s lips. It hurts that their first kiss is also their last kiss.A lone tear rolls down Luhan’s cheek and he quickly wipes it away. He’s about to walk away when he feels Sehun’s grip on his wrist, keeping him from leaving.

“I will quit. Luhan, give me a chance, please? Give us a chance. Ever since we started going out, I have been thinking a lot about quitting. Will you give me a chance? Us, a chance? Please?”

 

 

 

Sehun sells the night clubs that he owns and he uses the money to start a business if his own. He still gives a lot of donations to various organizations and even helps to volunteer once in a while. It was hard to persuade his family about everything and not to mention that quitting being a mafia means that they’re ditching a family tradition since it had been passed down from a generation to another generation. However, he knows that on top of anything else, he just cannot lose Luhan. 

Luhan smiles as he watches Sehun with the kids when they are volunteering together and when their eyes meet and Sehun mouths an  _I love you_ , Luhan knows that he was right to give the former mafia leader a chance. And oh, he might have probably lied about not wanting a bad guy. He does want a bad guy, but only in bed.


	2. irreplaceable you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on the movie; Irreplaceable You
> 
> Luhan is dying and he wants to find someone to replace him as Sehun's significant other.
> 
> warning : character death

Sehun and Luhan are young lovers. They are engaged and plan to get married as soon as possible but fate is cruel. They are forced to swallow the bitter reality when they find out that Luhan is dying.

 

 

 

Luhan was so sure that he was pregnant. The signs were all there. He thinks of the countless breaks to the bathroom where he had to puke and when he felt something in his tummy that he thought was his little munchkin, a product of his love with Sehun but it isn’t. It’s the tumor. 

“It’s a cancerous tumor, Luhan. The symptoms can mimic pregnancy but I’m sorry to say but you’re not pregnant” the doctor informs the young couple with an apologetic look. Sehun leans forwards and holds Luhan’s trembling hand, rubbing his thumb against the back of his hand while whispering; “It’s okay, we’ve got this, we will beat the cancer” but Luhan knows better that Sehun is probably having a harder time to accept the reality.

They find out soon that there is no cure for it. Weirdly enough, Luhan accepts the news calmly while Sehun keeps pacing back and forth, not believing anything that countless of doctors and specialists have been telling them. 

“We will beat this, Luhan. We will.”

 

 

  
“Hi, this is Luhan. I would like to cancel the wedding”

“Hi, sir is there any problems with our services? Anything you would like us to fix? I’m really sorry if there is-”

“No, you guys did well but this wedding is canceled because I’m going somewhere. And I might never return.”

 

 

  
“Luhan, was it my fault? I should have known better than to use microwave and -”

“Mom, you did nothing wrong”

“But baby, you don’t deserve this and you’re still so young. Sehun doesn’t deserve this! Are you sure it’s canc -”

“Mom. I’ll be gone. That's final. That's the reality.”

 

 

Sehun and Luhan have been together since forever. They are the opposites of each other. Luhan is loud, bubbly, fashionable and a social butterfly while Sehun is reserved, has a boring fashion sense and he is a shy introvert. They started staying close together when they were little and both of them joined a trip to an oceanarium.

_“There is one interesting information about anglerfish”_

_Little Luhan’s ears perked up, his attention was solely on the teacher as he waited for her to elaborate._

_“When an anglerfish wants to find a mate, it will bite on another anglerfish and never let go”_

_Luhan nodded his head in understanding and when the teacher walked away, followed by the other students, Luhan quietly trailed behind Sehun; his crush. He thought of what the teacher had told them and decided that maybe humans might be similar to anglerfish, Luhan fastened his pace. Minutes passed and a scream was heard when Sehun had his shoulder bitten by a 9 year old Luhan._

 

 

Luhan storms out of the room, thinking what a mistake it was for him to join a support group for cancer patients. To him, they are all lunatics in there. The last straw was when another member said; 

“My husband can find another husband after I’m gone!”

Luhan finds it infuriating because he can never think of himself giving Sehun up for someone else, even after he dies.

“Hey, you there, stop!”

The man shouts and Luhan stays rooted on his spot as he lazily turns his head towards the man.

“Why did you leave? We still have 30 minutes left”

“Save it. I’m not joining you crazy people in there. I might be dying but I haven’t lost my mind”

“Crazy?”

“Yes, crazy! I mean, you people think it’s funny that you partner will find someone else after you’re gone!”

“Why not?”

Luhan is about to retort but words get stuck in his throat. Yeah, why not? He thinks of Sehun. Sehun is still young, he has a successful career and he’s good-looking as hell despite the fact that he dresses like a geek. He will certainly get swarmed by women and men, from left to right. Luhan suddenly finds it hard to breathe, to think that Sehun might move on and continue with his life, without him.

“How old is your partner?”

The man asks and Luhan answers in a croaked voice;

“He is 29”

“Man, he’s gonna go through a major slut-phase after you’re gone” the man whispers under his breath but Luhan hears that and he raises his eyebrow, daring the man to repeat and say it louder.

“Oops. Anyway, we haven’t properly introduced ourselves to each other yet. I’m Baekhyun.”

 

 

  
“Chen, what is that?”

Luhan asks one day when he sees his assistant, Chen swiping through an app called Tinder.

“Oh, it’s a dating or hookup app. You can find a lover or a random person you want to fuck here. Just swipe!”

Luhan scrunches his nose disapprovingly at that but then when he lies on his bed with Sehun on his side that night, he thinks back on what Baekhyun had said about Sehun might be going through a major slut-phase and he decides that maybe he should find someone to replace him and be with Sehun after he dies. 

Luhan scoots closer to Sehun and he smiles upon seeing his taller lover unintentionally pulling him closer with his eyes closed, still asleep. He tries to ignore the ache in his heart knowing that one day, Sehun will be holding someone else.

 

 

“Seriously? People really put ‘Big ass’ in their bio on Tinder?”

Baekhyun takes a sneak peek at Luhan’s phone and he shrugs.

“Well, you have a flat ass so you can’t relate. Maybe they feel the need to brag about it since let’s be real, people like it thick nowadays”

“I do not have a flat ass!”

Luhan shoots backs instantly, suddenly feeling a tad offended.

“If you say so. Anyway, why are you on that app?”

“I’m finding someone”

“To bring to grave?”

“No, you idiot. For Sehun”

Baekhyun leans back and with his arms crossed, he looks at Luhan with a mixture of amazement and incredulity. 

“You are really something, Luhan.”

 

 

 

“.……….am I hearing this right?! You are finding someone to replace you and be with your boyfriend since you’re gonna die soon? Are you on crack?”

The man storms out of the cafe angrily, feeling fooled that he meets someone that he found on Tinder only to come face to face with a troll. Luhan sighs, thinking about how hard it is to find someone that can replace him and be with Sehun. Sehun is allergic to cats so cat lovers are crossed out. Sehun can’t cook or tidy up the room so Luhan needs to find someone who is good at doing house chores. It seems like an impossible thing to do because he honestly can’t find anyone like him.

The waiter that has been watching Luhan come over and Luhan looks up in surprise.

“Hey, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. You’re looking for someone for your boyfriend….?”

Luhan nods and he scans the waiter from head to toes, nodding again when he thinks that the other is quite good looking and might be a good other half for Sehun. The waiter laughs and shakes his head.

“You’ve got it wrong. I’m not here for the ‘interview’”

Luhan’s face turns slightly red due to embarrassment.

“I’m Jin Ho”

“Luhan”

“You know, a lot of people might be thinking that what you’re doing right now is weird but I think you’re amazing. I mean, how many of us can actually go around and search for someone to be our lover’s partner that will replace us later?”

Luhan’s eyes brighten when he finally finds someone who actually thinks that what he’s doing is right. He’s been receiving so much backlash for the past few days that he starts to question his own action but it’s good to find someone who is on the same page with him,  _kinda_. 

The waiter continues;

“You know, when my mother died, my father suffered a terrible loss. He looked so…..lost. I kept telling him to move on, find someone new but alas, he never even bothered listening to me. It was painful to see him looking so broken. So, Luhan, I wish you luck in finding someone for your lover. You’re amazing for doing this selfless act.”

 

 

  
Jongin, Sehun’s best friend looks at Sehun from head to toes. 

“Dude, I can see the shape of your dick in those skin tight leather pants”

“Shut the fuck up, Jongin”

Sehun retorts and he heads towards Luhan who is laughing on the couch.

“Evil. You made me wear these uncomfortable pants and you’re laughing now? You’re gonna get it”

Sehun says and he wraps his arms around Luhan’s waist, pulling him closer while attacking his earlobes with little nips and kisses.

Jongin makes puking sounds on the other side which make Luhan disengage himself from Sehun and Sehun makes noises in disapproval, obviously not pleased with Luhan stopping his nips and kisses.

Luhan smiles and pecks Sehun’s nose, facing the taller male while fixing his outfit.

“Why am I going to the art exhibition, again? I don’t even like arts, Lu”

Sehun says, silently hoping that Luhan will change his mind. Apparently, Luhan has been invited by his friend who is a waiter to attend his art exhibition and since Luhan doesn’t feel too well, he requested for Sehun to go in his place. Unbeknownst to Sehun, Luhan is hoping for Sehun to find someone in the art exhibition. His future lover, perhaps. Luhan doesn’t have any luck with Tinder so he has to find other ways for Sehun to get acquainted with someone.

Luhan shakes his head firmly.

“Nope, you have to go and that’s final.” 

 

 

  
“I honestly have no idea why we’re doing this” Baekhyun says in incredulity as he keeps his eyes on Sehun from afar. Luhan and him are currently in the car, stalking Sehun. 

“Hush Baek. Oh God, look at that. Sehun honestly has no desire to mingle around with people”

Luhan huffs in dissatisfaction and he leans on his seat, already planning another way for Sehun to be able to meet someone.

“Too soon to say that. Look”

Luhan leans forwards and what he sees slightly surprises him. Sehun is talking to Jin Ho. Even from afar, he knows that Sehun makes that snorty laugh in the middle of the conversation. He bites on his lower lip, the gnawing ache in his heart is back.

“You know, Baek. He only lets out a snorty laugh when he’s -”

“Nervous?”

“No. When he’s happy.”

 

 

  
“Well, Sehun, I didn’t expect you to be this fun to be with. Luhan said that you’re bad in conversations”

Sehun rolls his eyes at that, not even surprised to find out that his boyfriend said something like that but what Jin Ho says next leaves him bewildered.

“Wait what?”

“Well, I said, I think what Luhan is doing is amazing. You know, finding someone to replace him after…he’s gone. For you. He really loves you.”

 

 

  
When Sehun is back at home after going to the art exhibition, he goes straight to their bedroom, knowing that Luhan will be there. He is angry. Disappointed. Feeling like a fool. He sees Luhan under the sheets, pretending to be asleep. Sehun sits on the edge of the bed.

“I know you’re not sleeping, Lu. I know how your breathing sounds when you’re asleep”

Luhan stirs but he doesn’t get up, his heart beats a little faster because he has the feeling that Sehun knows what he has been doing behind his back. Sehun’s voice seems strained when he continues.

“I know a lot about you, Lu. More than you know yourself”

A few seconds of silence.

“But you don’t know me that much”

Luhan’s eyes are wide open and he tosses his blanket slightly to the side, getting up to see that Sehun’s back is facing him.

“Excuse me?”

“Don’t front, Luhan. You've been trying to manipulate my life”

“What in the world are you talking about? Manipulate your life?”

“YES! Setting me up with someone like what the fuck was that for?”

“I’m trying to find the right person for you!” Luhan reasons and his voice is slightly louder. 

“I already found my right person!” Sehun shouts and he turns his body to face Luhan before he continues in a low voice;

“Or I thought I had. Maybe I was wrong about us”

Sehun quickly regrets his words as soon as they leave his mouth. The pain is visible in Luhan’s eyes and he is about to reach over and hug the smaller male but Luhan gets under the sheets and ignores him all night.

 

 

  
The next morning when Sehun sees Luhan eating alone in the kitchen, he takes a seat next to Luhan. He breathes in relief when Luhan doesn’t get up and try to avoid him. Keeping his eyes on Luhan, he notices that his boyfriend looks tired and the physical effects of the medical therapies that Luhan has been going to are starting to show. He has lost weight and his eyes are no longer as bright as they were. Sehun’s heart clenches in pain knowing that his lover is suffering and he can do nothing about it. He would have taken the pain away from him if he could.

Sehun knows that he is going to regret this but in spite of that, he knows that he is not one who can say ‘no’ to Luhan.

“Someone who hikes”

Sehun breaks the silence and Luhan lifts his head to look at Sehun, there’s a tiny bit of confusion on his face.

“I want someone who loves hiking”

There’s a genuine smile on Luhan’s face when he realizes what Sehun is talking about.

“Why a hiker?”

“Because I love hiking”

“You never told me that you like hiking, Oh Sehun”

“That’s because you hate it”

“How can you just assume it?”

“When we went for hiking before, you whined non-stop and God, I thought my ears were about to fall off, Lu”

“Hey, I do not hate -”

Sehun gives him a ‘Are you serious?’ look and Luhan sighs, knowing that his boyfriend is right.

“Fine. Let’s update your Tinder bio!”

Sehun is about to say “What? Tinder?” but then he opts not to, just shaking his head in disbelief. His boyfriend was wired differently from others, indeed.

 

 

 

  
Sehun goes along with anything that Luhan does for him after that. Still not being able to wrap his head over the fact that Luhan seems so enthusiastic about finding someone to replace him in Sehun’s life. However, he refuses to meet any of the people on Tinder and after contemplating, Luhan decides that Sehun doesn’t need to meet them anyway. It is only right for Luhan to be the one who meets them and determines whether they are the right person for Sehun.

 

 

 

Sehun is being taught by Luhan on how to do the laundry. 

“First, you fill the washing machine with water. And then, you put in detergent. Not too much, though. Just follow the recommended amount. You can see it at the bottom of the detergent box. And then you select this and this and then ….”

Sehun is not at all paying attention to his lover babbling in front of him. He chooses to stare at Luhan’s pretty face and smiles in amusement. However, when Luhan stops talking and Sehun’s train of thoughts is interrupted, he feels a slight panic when Luhan’s voice breaks.

“Replace it. Our washing machine is so old already so…..if it stops working, replace it. Buy a new one”

He lifts his head and smiles at his taller boyfriend but Sehun can see the pain in Luhan’s eyes. He takes a few steps forwards and gathers Luhan in his arms.

“Shhhhh, everything will be okay, Lu.”

Luhan doesn’t say anything but Sehun’s insides clench when he feels the dampness on his shirt.

 

 

 

A week after that, Sehun is once again baffled when Luhan comes up to him, with a ring in his hand.

“What?”

“This ring” Luhan says while putting the diamond right on Sehun’s palm, “is for your right person”

“Luhan”

“I chose it! It’s really pretty, I’m sure the person will love it”

Sehun massages his temples and feeling his patience is running out because of Luhan’s ridiculousness.

“What do you expect me to do when I meet them later, Luhan?! God damn it! Do I just come up to them and say; “Hey this is the ring that my dead boyfriend picked for you. Please, marry me?” You are losing your mind”

Luhan stares at Sehun in shock, not understanding why Sehun is getting mad at him planning things for the future.

“Well, excuse me for trying to get involved in your love life”

“Lu, just stop this. Stop this nonsense”

“Fine. Suit yourself, Oh Sehun”

He ends the conversation and walks away, leaving Sehun with his muddled mind.

 

 

 

  
“I just don’t know what he wants, Jongin. He’s getting ridiculous and seems so obsessed with finding someone to replace him”

Jongin gives a few comforting pats on Sehun’s back.

“Sehun, you know that what he’s trying to do is to find comfort in knowing what’s gonna happen to you in the future. He doesn’t have that much time left and he knows it”

“But, isn’t that the point? There’s not much time left and he’s wasting it to find someone for me instead of trying to cherish the time that we have left. Doesn’t it hurt him at all to think that he is going to be replaced by someone after he is gone?”

Jongin smiles and his eyes are on an old couple, walking side by side and looking so in love and in bliss.

“It does. It hurts him a lot. I’m sure of it, Sehun.”

 

 

 

  
Sehun does not know why he is heading towards Jin Ho’s apartment right now. He knows the place because it is close to the place where his art exhibition was held. He was at the bar, taking a few shots and feeling buzzed, he decided to go back home but his feet brought him to Jin Ho. He’s still thinking abut Luhan and his stupid plan to find someone for Sehun. Maybe he should just do exactly what Luhan wants.

However, when he’s about to knock on the main door to Jin Ho’s apartment, he is suddenly brought back to reality. Realizing what a dick he actually is. Luhan is hurting and he is about to make it worse? 

 

 

 

When Sehun reaches home, he is not surprised to find it locked. Luhan must have been asleep. Not to mention that Luhan is still mad at him. He rummages through his stuff but he can’t find the keys and his vision is slightly blurry.

“Sehun?”

He lets out a sigh of relief when Luhan opens the door, but not the grill. Luhan’s face contorts in disgust when he smells the alcohol on Sehun.

“You drank?”

“Yes, Lu but that’s not the point. Luhan, I....I miss you. I miss you, baby. And I, I can’t be okay without you. Never ever gonna be okay without you. Stop pushing me away, Lu. Just……..can we please reconcile because I miss you”

“Sehun. It’s 3 am and you’re drunk. Where were you?”

“Jin Ho’s”

Sehun quickly regrets it when he sees the clear sign of betrayal on Luhan’s face.

“Oh?”

Even so, drunk Sehun is dumb and hasty so instead of explaining the real thing, he ends up provoking Luhan even more, forgetting that he told himself to be mindful earlier.

“Isn’t that what you want? For me to find someone?”

Luhan stays still as his eyes meet Sehun’s and he laughs bitterly.

“You’re way ahead of schedule, Oh Sehun. Good job, anyway”

He slams the door at Sehun’s face and Sehun closes his eyes and breathes heavily, knowing that he is fucked.

 

 

 

 

 

Sehun spends the night sleeping outside. When he wakes up the next day and sober enough to find his keys, he rushes to get inside the house and searches for Luhan but his petite lover is nowhere in sight. He has apparently left for work and Sehun notices that a few of his outfits are missing so he must be planning to stay over at his mother’s house and Sehun curses himself for not waking up earlier and fix things up.

Sehun tries calling and texting Luhan but all of his calls are rejected and his texts are left on read. He goes to Luhan’s mother’s house but Luhan refuses to leave his room. Sehun is devastated. He misses his boyfriend dearly but Luhan is not giving him a chance to talk to him.

 

 

 

  
“Baekhyun is dead…?”

Luhan’s eyes widen in disbelief and he curses himself for not visiting Baekhyun for the past few days.The man who was Baekhyun’s husband nods his head slowly and he asks.

“Luhan, isn’t it?”

“Yes, that’s me”

“Baekhyun talked a lot about you”

Luhan lets out a tiny smile.

“Really?”

“Yeah, said that you were the weirdest person he had ever met”

Luhan laughs.

“And, he mentioned one important thing. Luhan, knowing what’s gonna happen in the future, isn’t gonna make it hurt less.”

Luhan feels like he has just been slapped on the face.

 

 

 

  
Now, Sehun and Luhan are at the park, their eyes are on the lake in front of them. Sehun was delighted when Luhan called and said that he needed to talk. He rushed over to their spot. Sehun has so many things to say but he keeps quiet to let Luhan talk first, afraid of making him angry once again.

“I thought it would hurt less”

Sehun turns his head to look at Luhan while the other keeps his eyes on his lap, refusing to meet Sehun’s eyes.

“Lu….”

“It hurts to not be able to be in your future. It hurts to not be able to be the one that you will grow old with. It hurts not being able to get married to you. It hurts not being able to carry your children. It hurts so much, Sehun. My heart is in a constant pain”

Sehun reaches over and grabs Luhan’s hand, keeping it warm in his much larger hand. His heart aches when big fat tears roll down Luhan’s cheeks.

“I thought that if I found someone for you and I knew who that person was, leaving you would not be as painful as it should be. I wanted to fill the void by getting involved in your love life and decide your future but it was naive of me to think that I would be okay with you replacing me with someone else. I want you for myself so badly, I love you with every bit of my heart but fate is so cruel to me. To us”

Moments of silence passed and both males are having deep thoughts. Luhan’s eyes widen when he feels something cold on his ring finger. It’s the diamond ring that he chose for Sehun’s right person. He didn’t even realize that Sehun was putting it on his finger.

“You sure that the ring wasn’t for you, instead? It fits you perfectly”

Sehun teases and Luhan glares at him before they both burst out laughing. Sehun leans forwards and wipes Luhan’s tears off, letting out a deep sigh.

“I did not sleep with Jin Ho. Or had any kinds of relationships with him. I swear. Plus, he has cats” 

Luhan lets out a snorty laugh at that. Sehun stops talking for a moment, leaning forwards to place a gentle kiss on Luhan’s lips while holding Luhan like he’s the most fragile thing ever. When their lips disconnect and Sehun stares deeply into Luhan’s doe-like eyes, once again, Sehun is cursing the fate for being cruel to both of them. How is he gonna survive without Luhan?

“Lu, you are my right person. You have and will always be. I don’t wanna talk about the future now because my present is beautiful enough for me. You are beautiful to me. You are so silly to think that you can be replaced. Where can I find someone as beautiful as you, as feisty as you and as quirky as you are? Hey, I don’t even think anyone can find my socks and glasses that seem to always go missing and end up in unimaginable places other than you. It’s just you, Luhan. I will never be able to find someone like you. I love you, the irreplaceable you”

Luhan stares at Sehun as more of his tears fall and Sehun never fails to wipes them off with his thumb.

“Marry me, Lu”

They share a passionate kiss after that, promises are made even though they know that they don’t have forever.

 

 

 

**R.I.P**  
OH LU HAN  
 _20th of April 1990 - 20th of May 2018_  
Loved and Remembered, Always  
A husband, a son and a friend

 

 

 

_“Sehun, what if I had run away and joined a cult?”_

_“I guess I would have to join too”_

_“What if relationships between cult members were frowned upon?”_

_“Like an asexual cult?”_

_“Yes and you couldn’t do an intervention and get me out because I was totally brainwashed”_

_“Well, I guess I would have to become a rival cult leader, re-brainwash you according to my philosophy and then steal you away into my cult, which would be a sex cult”_

_Luhan gives his lover a look of disbelief and they laugh._

_“Okay okay. What if, I were exactly like me, except I had a really terrible halitosis?”_

_“Easy. I would get you a mint. Or I would destroy the olfactory receptors in my nose so that I didn’t care”_

_Luhan chuckles and hits Sehun on the chest gently, scooting closer to drape his leg over Sehun’s waist. He traces his finger on the broad chest and he lifts his head slightly, getting to eye-to-eye level with Sehun. He swallows thickly._

_“What if I die?”_

_Sehun seems stumped for a moment. His hand reaches over to brush Luhan’s hair._

_“I would never recover.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was trash, i'm really sorry ;;;
> 
> but please, if you're free, watch this movie god i cried so much


	3. you again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on the movie; You Again
> 
>  
> 
> ***sehun is older than luhan here

Baekhyun is stupefied. Honestly, what crime did he commit in his previous life to be punished in this cruel way? Out of all the things that could happen to him, he just has to accept the fact that his brother is marrying his bully in high school; the one who made his entire high school life a living hell and even until now, he still has to suffer the repercussions of being bullied in high school. He has issues with himself, his confidence level is low, his self esteem is pretty close to non-existent and just when he thought that maybe, he could finally close that horrible chapter of his life, he was suddenly bombarded by this horrible news; his brother, Oh Sehun is marrying his bully in high school; Lu Han.

“Mom, are you sure his name is Lu Han? I think you heard it wrong. I don’t think Sehun is marrying a Lu Han”

“Baekhyun, I did not hear it wrong. His name is Lu Han and it turned out that he was your brother’s junior in high school. Isn’t it funny that they were in the same high school and yet they met in another country? I guess it’s true, soulmates will always find their way towards each other. Oh gosh Baekhyun, you should see how perfec -”

“Mom, I’ve gotta go. I have a business to attend to”

“Oh sweetie, sorry for interrupting you with this phone call during working hours but I was too excited! See you at the wedding, okay? Love you”

“Love you too, mom”

 

 

 

So now Baekhyun is in the plane, heading home to attend his brother’s wedding with his arch nemesis; Lu Han. Baekhyun tries to convince himself that he is a different person now. He has a successful career as an editor at a fashion magazine and has a decent social life. His physical appearance has changed drastically, he might not be as attractive as his brother Sehun but he can proudly say that he is able to turn a few heads. He is no longer the weakling that Lu Han can shove around and mock however he wants and he is certainly not going to let Lu Han ruin him, once again. Baekhyun in high school was so much different than Baekhyun now. He was pimply, an outcast, a boring nerd, a four-eyed and that made him an easy target for bullies; especially Lu Han, the devil. Lu Han was the school’s most wanted male, he was basically a prince adored by everyone despite his cunning and evil nature. Everyone bowed down to him, every word he said was law and he could easily make anyone go down on their knees and kiss his feet. He was so powerful and wickedly menacing and he was everything that Baekhyun was not. Perhaps, Baekhyun is hoping that Lu Han now is no longer the same as Lu Han from before. Maybe he’s ugly now and probably friendless too. There’s no way that anyone would want a genuine friendship with him. Sehun’s standards are probably on the floor now and that explains why he chose Lu Han as his life partner. He will regret it for sure, Baekhyun is so confident that he will. 

 

 

  
Except that he’s not. Baekhyun has no idea how it is possible but Lu Han has gotten a lot more gorgeous, bedazzling to the point where he looks ethereal and Baekhyun is not really sure whether he is looking at an angel or a human being. Standing next to his brother, Sehun, they make a striking pair. A match made in heaven and Baekhyun has never been so bitter about something in his life. However, Baekhyun knows better that underneath that beauty is an ugly heart that deserves to be exposed. In terms of physical appearance, Lu Han might be the perfect one for Sehun but personality-wise, Baekhyun believes with all his heart that Sehun deserves better. Sehun is a genuinely kind person with a heart so big and so much love to give to everyone. He deserves someone who has a heart as pure as his, not someone like Lu Han whose heart is dark and ugly. Baekhyun has to separate them, he doesn’t care how he’s gonna do it but by hook or by crook, he will have to make sure that Sehun will call off the wedding when he realizes that Lu Han is nothing but a faker.

 

 

“Oh, you were in the same high school too?” Lu Han inquires while he flutters his unbelievably long eyelashes rapidly, making Baekhyun feel nauseated at the sight. Baekhyun rolls his eyes at that. Honestly, he already expected Lu Han to act like he didn’t remember that they were schoolmates. He has a degree in being fake and Baekhyun never expects anything more from that pressed liar. 

“Oh, how can you not remember? I was that pimply, four-eyed and unattractive boy that you used to shove around like a mere object. You used to bully me almost every day, don’t you remember?”

Is Baekhyun wants to say but he decides not to because he is better than that. He is not going to expose Lu Han at a dinner table while they are supposed to have a fun family time with the rest of the family.

“Baekhyun is younger than you by a year, Lu Han. That must have been why you two didn’t get to see each other that much” Baekhyun’s mother reasons while smiling at Lu Han, adoration is obvious in his eyes and Baekhyun can’t help but think that his mother is probably more excited about having Lu Han with them than Baekhyun. He scoffs in dislike. Lu Han nods and says;

“That must have been it. Such a shame, we could have been best friends, Baek” 

And Baekhyun has never wanted to physically hurt someone that bad. _This bitch_.

 

 

  
Despite being in the same high school, Sehun had no idea that his brother was being bullied throughout his high school years. Sehun was the complete opposite of Baekhyun, he was adored and a star tennis player with good grades and striking looks. He had everything and to top it all off, he was kind to everyone. Being such a busy student, Sehun did not know at all that Baekhyun was bullied since Baekhyun himself hid the truth quite well too, not wanting his brother to needlessly worry about him. 

“But I’ll miss sleeping next to you”

Lu Han whines while clinging on Sehun, his arms are wrapped around the taller’s neck while Sehun has his arm around his waist and Baekhyun just has to face such a nauseating sight on the first day that he’s home. Great. Just great. Are they always this mushy and disgusting? Sehun brings his hand to Lu Han’s face, stroking his cheek gently, leaving feather-like touches and Lu Han nuzzles into it in contentment. 

“You should sleep with Baekhyun since my bed is not big enough for the two of us. It’s just for a few days, Lu. You can do it, hmm?”

Lu Han pouts at that but he does not interject anymore and Sehun who must have found Lu Han irresistible leans in and their lips meet in a gentle kiss. When the kiss deepens and tongues are about to get involved, Baekhyun clears his throat loudly, catching the attention of the two flushed lovers who quickly pull away after being caught in an intimate moment. 

“So, we’re roommates?” Baekhyun asks rhetorically. Lu Han smiles, a bit too bright for Baekhyun’s liking and he claps excitedly which looks so genuine but Baekhyun knows better. There is no way that Lu Han feels excited about rooming with him, even the thought itself is laughable. 

“This is like a sleepover, isn’t it, Baek? I hope we can become super close friends through this!”

Sehun whose arm is again wrapped around Lu Han’s waist pulls the petite male closer, pleased with the fact that Lu Han wants to get closer to his beloved brother and he places a kiss on his temple. 

 

 

When it’s finally just Lu Han and Baekhyun in the room, Baekhyun thinks that it is time to have that much needed conversation with Lu Han. He doubts that Lu Han could forget him easily when he was basically the entertainment that Lu Han enjoyed throughout high school. 

“Drop the act. You remember me, don’t you?”

Surprised, Lu Han turns around and raises an eyebrow.

“I don’t. Why would I lie about not remembering you?”

“Lu Han, you’re such a faker and a pressed liar”

Lu Han sighs and he drops his body on the bed and with a fake yawn, he dismisses the topic.

“Baek, you must be tired. Let’s just sleep”

 

 

 

  
Baekhyun’s family turns out to be super infatuated with Lu Han, including Vivi; their dog. Baekhyun is even more offended when Vivi ignores him and instead heads towards Lu Han to get kisses and hugs. Baekhyun groans in dislike, his eyes are filled with hatred and when he thinks that it cannot get worse, it does. 

“Bebe?”

“Yeah, it’s been days since we last visited her so we should head to her house now”

“No, I mean why are you calling her Bebe?”

Lu Han frowns at the question, deeming it as a weird one.

“Well, why not? She wanted me to call her that”

“But, I’m the only one who gets to call her Bebe! I created the nickname”

Baekhyun exclaims, obviously not pleased with the fact that someone else; not to mention Lu Han out of all people is calling his grandma Bebe; a nickname that he created specially for his grandma. Lu Han laughs and ignores Baekhyun as he heads towards Sehun, who instantly smiles at Lu Han who is approaching him and the fire in Baekhyun’s heart burns even wilder. He knows he is being childish for disapproving of Lu Han calling his grandma Bebe but he still doesn’t like it. It’s his one and only Bebe, he is not sharing her with anyone, moreover Lu Han. Baekhyun is even surer now that he wants Lu Han to stay away from him and his family as soon as possible.

 

 

“Baekhyun, why are we doing this?” Baekhyun’s little brother, Chen asks as he digs with Baekhyun and his question gets ignored. He doesn’t pester Baekhyun about it anymore because it doesn’t really matter to him, as long as he will get paid for doing this.

They’re currently at the back of Baekhyun’s former high school, the same one that Lu Han and Sehun went to. It’s almost as if God is on Baekhyun’s side when he remembers the so-called time capsule that Lu Han himself recorded. It is a video of him and his clique, they decided to record a video of them living their high school life and of course, Baekhyun was in there. When the small, rectangular-shaped thing comes to sight, Baekhyun grins sinisterly and Chen looks at him in confusion.

“Well, looks like Sehun and Lu Han’s pre-wedding party is gonna be lit, Chen”

 

 

  
Baekhyun smiles in satisfaction after he gave the flash drive to the DJ, claiming that it’s his surprise for Sehun and Lu Han. Well, he didn’t lie, of course it will be a surprise, especially to Lu Han. When the video starts, Lu Han’s heart drops instantly. Oh, no. He’s screwed.

 

 

“Is this your another surprise?”

Sehun smiles as he nuzzles into Lu Han’s soft hair, pulling him closer by the waist. Lu Han looks at him, his voice sounds panicked. 

“Sehun, this is a mistake. DJ, turn it of-”

However, he says it too late and when his face comes into view, Lu Han has never wanted to cry so badly and he shuts his eyes. He’ll lose Sehun.

 

 

  
“And here, we have our weakling, the super duper ugly Oh Baekhyun”

Lu Han laughs in the video as he pours his drink over Baekhyun’s egged body, courtesy of his other friends. Everyone in the video laughs at the sight of Baekhyun being bullied and Sehun has never felt so much anger within him. His grip on Lu Han’s waist loosens and Lu Han clutches on his shirt when Sehun steps backwards. 

“Stop the video!” Sehun instructs, he can’t bear seeing his brother being bullied by his supposedly future husband. 

“Sehun, I can explain. I was -”

“EXPLAIN WHAT LU HAN?! WHAT THE HELL AM I SEEING? YOU WERE A BULLY AND NOT TO MENTION, YOU WERE BULLYING BAEKHYUN? AND YOU SAID YOU DIDN’T REMEMBER HIM. BUT WHAT IS THIS?”

“Sehun, please listen I’m -”

“Shut up”

Sehun says firmly as he looks at Lu Han with a pained look. He feels angry and betrayed. All this time, he thought he knew everything about Lu Han and all this time, he thought Lu Han was always the nice and loving person with a big heart. But, what is this that he is seeing? Has Lu Han been feeding him lies all this while? Lu Han keeps quiet after being told to shut up and tears are rolling down his pale cheeks, his heart clenches at the look that Sehun has on his face. Sehun looks so hurt and betrayed. Lu Han wants to tell him that he is sorry and he regrets everything that he did in the past but Sehun doesn’t give him a chance to speak. Is he going to lose Sehun? With their wedding being a week away? His heart clenches, he can’t lose Sehun. Not now, not ever. He can’t even breathe when he thinks of losing Sehun. However, when Sehun turns his back at him and walks away, Lu Han can literally hear his heart breaking into pieces.

 

 

 

Lu Han storms angrily towards Baekhyun and he pushes the male backwards, causing Baekhyun to almost fall over if not because of the table that prevents his back from meeting the floor. Baekhyun regains his composure and he looks at Lu Han with fire in his eyes.

“What the hell is your problem?!”

“It was you, wasn’t it? You dug the time capsule out to stop this wedding from happening, you fucking bitch!”

Baekhyun snickers at that. _A bitch is calling me a bitch?_

“Well, forgive me for not wanting my brother to marry a fake person like you”

“I HAVE CHANGED, YOU MORON”

“Doubt it”

Lu Han’s breath quickens as he feels his anger rises and he grabs a chair before throwing it at Baekhyun who dodges it swiftly.

“10 years later and you’re still a bully, Lu Han”

“You ruined my life, Baekhyun”

“So did you”

Baekhyun stares at Lu Han who has tears running down his face and if Baekhyun didn’t know any better, he would have felt sorry for him.

“I love Sehun. He’s the best thing that has ever happened to me and you just had to ruin it for some petty revenge? Congratulations, Oh Baekhyun. You broke me”

Baekhyun laughs hollowly, the ache in his heart returns when he thinks back at the old times where he was wishing that he was stronger so he could fight Lu Han and his clique whenever they messed with Lu Han. He honestly doesn’t remember a day in which he didn’t think of skipping school, he dreaded each day that he had to see Lu Han because he knew that he would get tortured; physically and emotionally. 

“You know Lu Han, the fact that you’re standing here, basically asking me to feel sorry for you for ruining your life……..is priceless”

 

 

 

“Baekhyun, what you did was terribly childish. I expected better from you, honestly. I am so disappointed in you”

Baekhyun looks plainly at his father, he doesn’t even bother coming up with excuses. His father has somehow found out that it was him behind all the mess during the pre-wedding party. Though it honestly doesn’t take a genius to find that out.

After about a 30-minute lecture, Baekhyun is finally dismissed and he goes straight to his shared room with Luhan, not a bit surprised when the other male isn’t there. He lies down on his bed and thinks about the eventful day. He wonders why he doesn’t really feel the satisfaction that he ought to be feeling. Instead, he kind of feels like a jerk. He might have been bullied before but he is an adult now and adults have talks when they have problems. Not puling up some bad surprises that can cause their brothers to lose the loves of their lives. He knows and he can see it; that Sehun genuinely loves Luhan. He looks at him like he holds his world, or maybe Luhan is his world and he handles him with the utmost care, a lovesick grin is constantly on his face when Luhan does anything. God, did he really just ruin his brother’s life while trying to make things even with Luhan, his high school bully?

Just when his eyes are about to shut, he hears noises coming from downstairs and his ears perk up. Is that a burglar? But if it is, why is Vivi so quiet? Maybe he is sleeping in Sehun’s room. Baekhyun grabs a hockey stick nearby and heads downstairs, carefully silent and he tiptoes a bit only to see a silhouette in the kitchen, rummaging the food in the refrigerator. His raises an eyebrow and gets closer only to finally realize that it is actually Luhan and he exhales in relief. The man who is now currently scooping his ice-cream while sobbing and he sometimes wipes his snot with his wedding suit, causing Baekhyun to feel grossed out for a moment. The mentioned male looks up and stares at Baekhyun for a second before he continues weeping. 

“You must be happy now” he says through his sobs and Baekhyun lets out a sigh before he sits next to Luhan.

“We are both pathetic, huh? Acting like children and we are both too egoistic to have a serious talk like proper adults”

Wiping his snot, Luhan sniffs and nods in agreement.

“I know. And I have been meaning to apologize to you but my pride wouldn’t let me. If I knew that I could lose Sehun because of it, I wouldn’t mind swallowing my pride and apologize to you. Sehun, h-he means a lot to me and I really can’t imagine a life without him now but I guess I have to start learning how to live without him, huh? He probably hates me the most right now”

“Luhan, he will never be able to hate you. He loves you, can’t you see it?” Baekhyun counters because he knows his brother best and he knows for sure that Sehun will never be able to hate Luhan. Not when he still treasures the other male a lot.

“I’m really sorry, Baekhyun ah. For everything” Luhan apologizes sincerely.

Baekhyun nods and with a smile on his face, he replies;

“I know. I’m sorry too. I will fix this.”

 

 

 

 

 

“Sehun! Sehun, hey stop there for a moment, God you walk so fast” Baekhyun exclaims as he tries his hardest to catch up with Sehun who is basically pretending that he doesn’t exist. Baekhyun jogs a little and after a while, he finally is able to stop Sehun from walking further away from him by standing in front of the taller male. Looking at him disinterestedly, Sehun watches him with an expressionless face while Baekhyun breathes raggedly. 

“What, now? You have another childish prank to pull?”

Sehun asks sarcastically and Baekhyun frowns even though he expected it.

“Look, I’m sorry okay? I shouldn’t have done what I did. That was childish and I already made up with Luhan”

Sehun lets out a sigh while he zeroes in his gaze on Baekhyun and his expression softens.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know that you suffered in high school. I should have been a better brother to you. And I know that you’re still scarred. I’m sorry that I almost married the person who ruined your high school years” Sehun says softly and Baekhyun shakes his head in protest.

“You can’t call off the wedding, Sehun! Luhan needs you and you need him too. I am scarred but at least now, he apologized and I feel a lot better now. I should move on from the past and you should too. Besides, don’t you love him too much to be apart from him?” Baekhyun whispers the last part and Sehun nods as he closes his eyes briefly.

“I do. I love him so much it hurts to even think of being apart from him”

“Then, proceed with the wedding, Sehun. Me and Luhan are no longer the Baekhyun and Luhan in high school. We are different and better people now. Go after him, tell him that you still want him because that man is probably still miserable right now, stuffing himself with ice-cream while wearing his wedding suit”

Sehun lets out a chuckle as he visualizes the scene in his mind.

“Thank you, Baekhyun. I hope you know you’re the best”

Baekhyun grins in agreement.

“I know.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

The wedding happens and the married couple looks so blissfully in love. There is a soft smile in Baekhyun’s face as he watches Sehun lean in to place a chaste kiss on Luhan’s lips. _He is happy._


End file.
